Reincarnation

I was in a meditation group in the early 1990’s and one night read a statement in a magazine lying open on the table. It said that if there is an area that you don’t get right this lifetime, you’ll have to come back in another lifetime to try again. This was an interesting thought to me and has made me more conscious of aspects of my life that I’m not quite gelling in.

Reincarnation makes a lot of sense to me. I can’t say that I believe it, because there’s no way of proving that it is real. But whether or not it is the way things work, the concept can be used to explain so much about what happens to us. 

If we meet someone who feels familiar, perhaps there has been a past life connection. What might look like an unfair situation of someone receiving a lot of money leaving the other person penniless might be a karmic payback for a past reversal of fortunes. Phobias of heights, enclosed spaces and snakes could be the result of experiences in past lives.

The concepts of karma and reincarnation can help when we are overcome by strong emotions. If someone is no longer with us and guilt is playing on our mind, we can take comfort in the thought that there might be opportunities in future lifetimes to address any remaining issues.   

It doesn’t matter to me whether reincarnation is real or not. I look for karmic explanations of what is happening around me but generally don’t discuss these explanations with others. Karmic considerations contribute to a more peaceful mind which is what I’m looking for.

Staying Positive

In this world with 24 hour news cycles and ever-increasing working hours along with financial or health worries, it is almost impossible to maintain a positive view on things. If we’re not worrying about how things will pan out in the future, then issues from the past rise up to fill the gap. 

I once heard of someone who cured himself of cancer by booking into a hotel room with a stash of funny movies to watch. He laughed himself to health. I could relate to this method as I have often searched for the funny stories or comedies on TV to sustain me. 

I used to enjoy reading the jokes in the Readers Digest. It was my way of dwelling in a positive moment that I seem to have perpetuated throughout the decades since. Signing up with Amway for a brief time gave me the positive tapes that Amway provided even though their message was mainly about selling Amway. Now my TV viewing focuses on comedies while scanning newspapers always reveals the cartoons. I have even done a brief cartooning course, not that I have produced my first finished piece. 

Whichever method is available to me, I prefer to lean towards the positive. The good news stories might be few and far between, but if we persist in our search we can find the gem that soothes our soul.  

What you think about me is none of my business

What you say or think about me is none of my business.  You might like or dislike me, my behaviour or what I say. It only becomes a problem for me if I hook into a response from you, imagined or real. 

I sometimes hook into drama. If someone makes a comment about me twice or more, I start to question the motive of the comment. 

Someone else believing that I’m doing something the wrong way can test me. Their way is the right way and mine is seen as wrong. Whatever happened to individuality? Have we now become like a herd of cows following others rather than striking out on our own path.

It becomes a marvellous example of how the minutiae of our lives can become a source of drama. Someone believing that a particular task can only be done a certain way might make a passing comment. And after hearing this message more than a few times, I will choose whether to buy into the drama. 

And this is when I need to remind myself that what someone thinks about what I say or do is none of my business. We are each entitled to our own opinions and the determination of something being right or wrong is always a personal choice. Then it becomes a matter of how we respond the next time the topic is raised. 

Sometimes honesty is helpful: “What works for you doesn’t work for me.” Of course, to use this one we might need to explain why it doesn’t work. 

Avoidance helps if the conversation is going around in circles. “I don’t want to talk about this,” can stop the current flow of the conversation although it might end up delaying the inevitable.

Whichever way it is handled, I try to look at how previous interactions have panned out as it is helpful to consider where the person making the comments might be coming from. Perhaps a kind word or a concession might be just what they need at this point in time.

Missing Out

An issue seems to be bubbling to the surface that I need to deal with.  A few times in the past week I have felt like I was missing out on something, and the first two times I reacted badly. 

To a Virgo who is almost pedantically precise, missing out doesn’t make sense. If I ensure that other people around me are treated fairly then can’t I expect the same? I seem to keep forgetting that life isn’t always fair. Just because I’ve made sure that all the people before me are served does not mean that I will be treated the same way by others who arrive after me. Byron Katie would be amazed that I still retain these crazy notions. After all, it doesn’t fit with reality. 

So I’m working with myself to redefine my expectations. The phrase “You win some, you lose some” probably says it all, with The Free Dictionary’s explanation being: “You cannot always succeed”. I get that. Sometimes life will be fair to me and other times it won’t. Now I just need to remember it next time I notice that the scales are skewed against me.

I am not my thoughts

An errant thought enters my mind and I start dwelling on it. My mind gets filled with thoughts about the thought. 

Then I remember my version of a simple practice taught at a course some years ago. “Not that, not that,” I tell my mind. 

This is a helpful practice. Just these few words tell both my mind and the universe that this thought is not important to me. 

In what seems like a strange twist, we are not our thoughts and yet we are what we think about. A thought comes to mind and we make a choice. We either let the thought go thus displaying detachment, or we think about the thought and become attached to the implications of it. 

The more we attach to thoughts that arrive, the more turbulent our mind becomes. Releasing thoughts leaves us with a calmer mind.  

No matter which way we choose, further thoughts will come along giving us ample opportunity to practice detachment or experience the reverse. It’s part of the human experience.