What you say or think about me is none of my business. You might like or dislike me, my behaviour or what I say. It only becomes a problem for me if I hook into a response from you, imagined or real.
I sometimes hook into drama. If someone makes a comment about me twice or more, I start to question the motive of the comment.
Someone else believing that I’m doing something the wrong way can test me. Their way is the right way and mine is seen as wrong. Whatever happened to individuality? Have we now become like a herd of cows following others rather than striking out on our own path.
It becomes a marvellous example of how the minutiae of our lives can become a source of drama. Someone believing that a particular task can only be done a certain way might make a passing comment. And after hearing this message more than a few times, I will choose whether to buy into the drama.
And this is when I need to remind myself that what someone thinks about what I say or do is none of my business. We are each entitled to our own opinions and the determination of something being right or wrong is always a personal choice. Then it becomes a matter of how we respond the next time the topic is raised.
Sometimes honesty is helpful: “What works for you doesn’t work for me.” Of course, to use this one we might need to explain why it doesn’t work.
Avoidance helps if the conversation is going around in circles. “I don’t want to talk about this,” can stop the current flow of the conversation although it might end up delaying the inevitable.
Whichever way it is handled, I try to look at how previous interactions have panned out as it is helpful to consider where the person making the comments might be coming from. Perhaps a kind word or a concession might be just what they need at this point in time.
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