Every action has a positive intent

Sometimes people do things that surprise or even annoy me. Was it really necessary to do what they did? What were they thinking?

After my mind settles down, I remember a presupposition taught to me some years ago in a Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) course. “Every action has a positive intent”. So I look for the positive intention behind the behaviour that surprised me. 

We all have different thoughts about what happens around us. Conflict occurs when two people have differing views on a particular thought or event. 

It is tempting to try to change the other person’s mindset so they will agree with us. But this doesn’t always work. An easier path is to look for the positive outcome in their action or thought which then provides a starting point for a constructive dialogue. Even approaching someone with a view to hearing their side of the story can go a long way in helping to ease a potentially difficult situation.

This doesn’t mean that we need to agree with the person. Instead, if we hear them out and let them know our thoughts about the issue then perhaps the best result would be to agree to disagree. But at least both sides have been heard and sometimes that is all that is needed.